You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
