We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
