Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
