i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
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