So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
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Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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