i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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