okay pat passed out under dana's car
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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