Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
