is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize