At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
