There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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