apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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