If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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