the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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