What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
