new low.... made out with someone while peeing
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
