do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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