It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
