Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
