Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
