Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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