I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
