It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
