Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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