If i come over, it means nothing
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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