what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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