I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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