I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
