His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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