I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
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I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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