i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
