okay pat passed out under dana's car
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
