I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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