I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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