you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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