I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize