Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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