i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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