she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
