Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If I die, sorry about rent.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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