discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
