So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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