Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Farmville is her only friend.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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