Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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