Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
