And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
