Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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