My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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