My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
