They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
