It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
