I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
