I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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