My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
