3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
