So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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