Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
jump out the window naked night went bad
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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