mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
