He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
