i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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