i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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