How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
