This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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