STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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