K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
