when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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